sight_unseen
1. Adults are not to be trusted
2. Pain is not temporary
3. Selfishness and selflessness can overlap
4. Nobody truly sees children
5. Sleep is not restful
6. Reading can be like running away.
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Hope this finds you well,
-L
I grew up reading dystopian fiction. It did nothing to prepare me to be living in one. I loved it because it was escapism but relatable enough to my reality.
Like many Harry Potter fans, the epilogue broke my heart. I knew that this was not how wars turned out. This is not how life wears on people. There isn’t just a clear cut ending with everybody living in peace.
Trauma, war, and dystopia connect to the same feelings and circumstances: grief, depression, addiction, PTSD, anger, disassociation, loneliness, abandonment, irregular attachment, mental illness, loss, despair, and resilience.
I’ve read of kingdoms falling, of citizens dissolved into sides and divided into factions, of heartbreak and loss, of revolution, and of despair.
I’ve spent most of my life dreaming of dying and a few years trying. Battling to survive while trying to die is nothing new to me. The despair, loneliness, and isolation have been my constant companions.
This year has slowly evolved from the best I’ve ever felt, to accepting a new normal, to leaving me more than two steps backward. I worked hard to prepare for my future and to plan one after so many years of not wanting one.
The end of this year truly feels like the lowest and the most barren.
How did we find ourselves here?
How do we make sure we can leave again?
Hope this finds you well,
-L
A while ago I made a post with a list of Things I Just Can’t Handle. It included pet peeves of mine as well as things I just generally dislike. I figured I would counter that with a list of my favourite things! Check them out below:
I do have a top 5, and I can name them off at any given moment- the others are in no particular order. These are all things I love and things that make me really happy! If you find me and any one of these things in the same place at the same time, chances are I’ll have a smile on my face. Feel free to share things you love, things that make you happy, or your very favourite thing!
Hope this finds you well,
-L
I like to consider myself an avid reader, and as most avid readers, I like to buy books. Unlike most avid readers, I buy books and don’t read them. I love everything about books; the cover art, the font, the feel, the smell, the stories. I love everything about stories; the characters, the phrasing, the descriptions, the flow, the plot twits, the unravelling, the tone, the themes.
However, whenever I have time to read, I inevitably turn to books I’ve already read. I love the familiarity, I love enjoying a story knowing the outcome, and I love reliving it again and again. I love catching things I missed the first couple times. I always feel like I don’t have time to commit to a whole new book, and in it, a whole new world.
I was looking at my bookshelf the other day and decided to do a tally of how many books I have yet to adventure into! This is the list I came up with in the process:
If you have any suggestions for me to read or any comments or reviews on any of these you’ve read, leave me a comment.
Hope this finds you well,
-L
Sight Unseen 