Tag: dreaming

You Again

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Here you are again,

Meeting me in dreams.

Dreams that try to blur reality

But the harshness of daylight takes no prisoners.

Meeting you in dreams,

Again,

Feels like finally being able to breathe;

Feels like the missing piece of my soul has clicked back into place.

It’s better than any high a drug could offer me.

It’s because I’ve never loved anyone as much as I loved that boy, that you, that us.

Love that strong lingers and now spans decades.

Hopefully it reaches across dimensions and lifetimes to others where we stay together and the fates are kinder to us.

Dreaming you,

Again,

Is a sweet torture unlike any other.

Midnight texts from you feel similar.

Wishing, always wishing, that goodbye could have meant forever and that we wouldn’t have entered this limbo.

Wishing that reality wasn’t so harsh that my subconscious pulls you to me to soothe my ragged edges and give me comfort I find only in dreaming of you,

Again.

.

.

.

Hope this finds you well,

-L

Tired of Dreaming

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Even my tired brain stays awake to think of you. 

With you. 

Without you. 

What my life has been and what it could have been. 

Thinking of full moons and you. 

Awake and sleeping- dreaming. 

Always of you. 

Always in the fall. 

Wishing for and hating goodbye. 

I’m tired of this life, of you, of life without you. 

So tired of dreaming. 

Hope this finds you well,

-L

Dreaming You

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A dream I have every so often is a reunion with you.

We’re both 18.

It feels like we’ve found a spot where the film between lifetimes and dimensions is so thin that we’ve slipped through.

I look across to the passenger seat of my old car and there you are.

It feels like yesterday; your hug feels like it’s today. The ache I feel is gone and the piece missing from my soul has clicked back into place. I can breathe again. Never has any hug felt so good and I can’t imagine another one ever will.

Waking without you is either the most searing pain or like the calm after the storm. I never know which it’ll be and still I’d dream this dream one thousand times.

Maybe I already have.

Until the next lifetime, I’ll be seeing you; dreaming you.

Hope this finds you well,

-L

Writing Again

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It’s a wonder; here I am again and so is September.

My heart beats for you and for melancholy even in my sleep.

I’m restless and homesick with memories of you.

You messaged again, consistency.

I can’t help but miss you and miss me too. I’ve lost who I am and who I was but you know me. Message some more and maybe you’ll bring me back to myself.

I can’t still my thoughts or my dreams except to drag this pen across paper and hope the words convey the nostalgia.

My heart feels bruised again.

I’ll probably be right here, with dreams and a pen, every September; writing again.

Hope this finds you well,

-L

Dreams

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I can’t control dreams,

But if I could,

I would steer them away from you.

I have no desire to dream of utopia but wake and live in reality.

Dreams bring me to you, to us; to our other dimension, as we used to say.

The dreams aren’t real but the feelings I awake with sure are.

If I can only have moments of you in dreams, perhaps I should stay asleep so I can keep dreaming.

Alas, I cannot control dreams.

.

.

.

Hope this finds you well,

-L

In Dreams

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I hugged you in my dreams last night. It’s been years since I last saw your face and longer since we touched, but I’d recognize you by your hugs anywhere.

Every few months I dream of a reunion between us. Every time we meet, we hug, and it feels as though a piece of my soul is put back in to place. These are the only nights I wake up feeling truly rested.

The amount of comfort it brings me is indescribable and carries forward for the next few days; until you fade away again. The sense of completeness and pure tranquility leaves a mark on my heart. Since the comfort is so real, I can’t help but wonder in which dimension we’ve found each other again.

No matter the dimension, I’m glad. I’m glad our paths crossed in this one, if only for a time shorter than we liked. I’m glad that perhaps they cross again and that the sense of joy is equal there too.

Someday the dreams will stop, the hugs will fade, and life will move on. For now, I need the comfort they bring since I can’t find it here on earth, waking or sleeping, except with you. Someday I’ll find real hugs that do the same.

For now, I’ll see you in dreams.

Hope this finds you well,

-L